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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Water Bored

Ken Kerr Bio

Last week, Sean Hannity of Fox News offered to be water boarded to show that it is not torture—it's just harmless "enhanced interrogation.' When pressed, he said he'd do it "for charity." Keith Olbermann then called this bluff and offered $1000-a-second for every tick of the clock Hannity could handle enhancement. I wouldn't hold my breath (pun intended) waiting for this event. Hannity will soon sober up and realize what he has offered.

Or, Hannity thinks this will be a hoot. After all, Ollie North claims to have been waterboarded and told Hannity there is nothing to it. It's kind of like a roller coaster—you're not going to really die, it just makes you experience what it might feel like. You get the thrill without the real danger. The heart races, the adrenalin flows and we scream with glee rather than fear. I suspect Hannity and those of his stripe see this as little more than a fraternity prank or an episode of Punk'd—you see, we're not really going to drown you, only we don't tell you that until it's over and we all have a good laugh.

After all, it did not result in "death, organ failure, or serious impairment of bodily function. Quite the opposite, the forced enema Kalid Sheik Mohamed received prior to his waterboarding actually enhanced his boldly function. I wonder if Hannity is signing on for one of those as well.

But Hannity's offer to experience the thrill and excitement of drowning gave me and idea. How about if we get Rush—'It isn't Torture if You Can Survive It"—Limbaugh, Bill—"it's just putting a little water on their face"—O'Reilly, Glenn—"we need to find somebody who is willing to be water boarded by professionals and show if it's torture or not"—Beck, Michael—pouring water over a terrorist's face--Savage and invite them to put their lungs where their mouths are.

I have my checkbook out-and-ready.

If they agree, they can always reconsider. All they have to do is go before the same camera or microphone and admit they were mistake—it is torture, and it is unworthy of the United States of America.

I'll even still send my check.

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